I spent a week away, hoping that the break would reinvigorate my writing. It did not. I spent the entire time on holiday: from everything, from work, from chores and from any form of creative narrative of my own. Sure, I read two and a half books: good novels too, that I appreciated in form and structure and even bought into the characters written. It didn’t make me any less confident that perhaps one day I could be the one doing the writing. But still, in the last week I only managed a brief couple of sentences on this blog, and on the way out a 350 word beginning to a story that might have somewhere to go if I ever get back to following it through.
So yes, I did actually write something during my week away. Perhaps I am being too harsh on myself. I went on a holiday and I actually took that at face value and rested whilst I was on that holiday. Yet, it doesn’t feel as though I really tried hard enough. I say I want to be a writer but somehow I never really do any real writing. Again, I’m being too self-critical: after all, over the past couple of months I have made progress and I have written many things, including parts of my novel and some short story pieces and, overwhelmingly, this blog.
Why does it feel that I am failing at my simple goal then? One sentence a day really shouldn’t be that hard. Is it just that it is more difficult to acheive on some days than on others? Could that one sentence really be too ambitious?
Whilst I was on holiday, walking along the beach front, a restaurant vendor (those that try and tempt you into eating in the restaurant they represent) handed me a card for his establishment. On the back of that card was a quote about perseverance. Perseverance.
Is that what I need to learn? I am constantly trying to be the writer I want to be, but do I truly presevere in that desire when things become difficult or challenging or tiring? Certainly the one thing I am learning all the way along is that giving up is not an option anymore. Thus, I shall pick myself up and begin again, not from the beginning as such, but somewhere along the journey that I became distracted. I will persevere, because I can think of no alternative better than to keep on trying.