It was late. She was tired. But lately the only promises that she ever betrayed were the ones she made to herself. She was known for her reliability. If there was a friend in crisis she could be depended upon to provide support, advice and encouragement. Yet when it came to herself she was lost. Now, here she was in the midst of her own crisis and she wished she could call upon herself to confide in and help prop up her self-esteem.
The drink sat on the counter in front of her. She had spent months attempting to avoid situations just like this. But now she was faced with the ultimate test: would she leave the vodka in the glass, or surrender to the temptation in the back of her throat and gulp it down thirstily as though she had come across water during a difficult drought.
She reached out to touch the glass, her fingers brushing the cold, smooth surface: a lover’s caress. She moistened her lips, her mouth gorged with the wetness that came with desire. One mouthful. One glorious sip. One deep breath of intoxication. Her entire body pulled toward it, a tornado of tempetation spiralled toward the central goal, where all was calm and paeaceful. The one glassful of vodka the eye of her storm.
Violently, she jerked her entire arm to the left, swinging her torso heavily into the turn. The glass was swiped off the counter and smashed against the wall. Her breathing was ragged with effort and her face was set in a stony expression, the thunder of her storm showing clearly in the pout of her lips and deep furrowed brow. She resisted the urge to lick the wall where the venomous liquid was gathered in large droplets, minature rivers of her own private hell.
She left the broken glass on the kitchen floor and dragged her unwilling feet back to bed. She was crying, but she did not notice the tears. She simply recalled that the only promises she ever made to herself were always the ones she ended up breaking. But not tonight. This was one dedication she needed to commit to in order to continue a better life than the one that continuously led down a throughly beaten, dangerous and potentially fatal track. From now on, she had to come first.