I’m approaching a scene in my novel that is a pivotal event in the book as a whole: the first part that truly identifies my protagonist as a character of questionable judgement. I’ve had this part of the story set in my mind for a while and perhaps played with the writing of it a hundred times over during time spent considering how to approach it.
However, the closer I get to writing this section the less I am writing. I appear to have an ingrained fear of setting it down in words, as though the picture of it in my imagination can not be transferred into the appropriate words to create the scene I have built up. The other day I wrote a wholly unnecessary occurance just to delay the possibility of having to write this impending event. It seems so silly to be afraid of it, as this is what I want to happen, but I don’t feel quite ready for it: although I am aware that I just need to jump in the deep end and trust that it will will all be okay.
I suppose I need to accept that this is my first draft, even this one scene that I have played around with in my head for a few months now has never been written before. The important thing is to get it down on paper. There will always be the option later to go back and change it, alter it and improve it to fit my impossibly perfect idea of it. I simply need to set aside some time and sit down and do it, come what may. Then I can stop procrastinating about it and move beyond it, into the next section of my novel (of which I have partly written already – before my attempt to write chronologically) and the exciting thread of the story there.
Once again the answer to my question is to write. As a writer, is there really any other answer?