It’s coming up to a week since I triumphently announced that I had written 50,000 words in just twenty nine days. How many words have I managed since then? 250.
I wanted to take some time off, and I have: but that hasn’t been quality time. Most of it has been exhaustion and catch-up with household chores time. As a result I’m feeling a little bit disillusioned about the novel at the moment, thinking back to what I’ve written so far I realise I have lost part of my theme, and the trajectory the story is currently taking is somewhat at odds with my original idea. It’s still a good story, I think, but it isn’t what I really set out to write; nor what my research was about.
I know I just need to start writing again, but as I suspected, without the pressure of an outside goal bearing down upon me I am tending to procrastinate instead of write. However, my brain at the moment is just so tired, so void of creativity, that I’m having trouble stringing sentences together in my ordinary life, nevermind the fictional lives of my characters.
I need a plan. All throughout NaNoWriMo I felt focused and reassured by the fact I planned out my writing and knew what I was supposed to be writing in any one sitting. Writing is about drive and persistence – they can’t be provided by an outside source at all times, they have to come from within too. You have to WANT to write.
My novel is possibly only half way to two thirds finished, in first draft story format. It’s difficult to think that some writers spent their November completing their novel in its entirity, whereas I still have a long way to go. But, I want to finish it. My goal is to have the first draft complete by the end of December 2011, and if I want to spend anytime with my family and friends over the Christmas period I had better get a move on – because by my own estimation I still have between 25,000 and another 50,000 words to write! Wish me luck!