I am experiencing a writing slump at the moment. I think about writing a lot, I’m reading a lot of material – both fiction and articles about writing – and I’m sitting down with the intention of writing and, surprisingly, I’m actually writing. However, I do not feel connected to the act of writing, nor do I feel much like a writer today.
I am very tired. That is all I can put it down to: weariness. It’s as though I am going through the motions of writing, but I could not tell you what it was I last wrote, or even if it was any good. I am a phantom writer; my habit of writing somehow separate to that of my physical being. I suppose we all go through such stages, and it is not unusual, I expect, to have a particularly good run (as I feel I have for a while) and then feel despondent when this ends, somewhat abruptly, and you have to shake yourself out and reassess.
The one thing I have continued to do is to keep writing. I get the distinct impression that my current fugue is symptomatic of those times when self-doubt is teetering on the edge of your consciousness and any acknowledgement of such will only allow it entry and, thus, prevent you from progressing at any stage of your writing. Put simply: if I stop writing, I fear that this will result in a pause much longer than I can afford, or would like.
Regardless, I am determined to continue writing, continue planning and continue editing until this melancholic mist has lifted from me. What benefit would there be in taking a break for my writing? None, as far as I can see. It will be a new challenge – to write from a detached position – and see what connections I make, how my style might alter, how my voice is affected by such disassociation.
It’s strange, because just by altering my perception of what this is – this period of remote stupor – I’m now more intrigued by the impact it might have on my approach to writing and, suddenly, I feel hopeful about it again. I’ve created an interest that I didn’t think was there, and that perhaps might be the initial spark to reignite my passion and desire for the craft I love so much. So, while the way ahead might appear dark and dismal I read somewhere recently that the light is always brightest when surrounded by darkness, and I’m willing to put that to the test.