Running on Empty

I am empty of words today. Like an ice cream tub scraped clean by a girl in need of comfort; I am without words.

Perhaps because I am struggling, I suddenly find it impossible to face the act of writing. My confidence has been given a shake and rattled loose all those doubts. I no longer know if I am capable of telling a story, let alone sharing one.

Isn’t this the usual insecurity of solitary arts? That all is well when you are encased in the bubble of your own creation, yet as soon as it comes time to announce it to the world – or an individual other than yourself – you begin asking questions and drawing conclusions that you would not ordinarily entertain.

I feel a little like a car trying to run on empty. I would so love to make it to the end of the road, but there is no fuel to get  me there. I splutter and jerk and try to maintain any forward momentum, but without sustenance I can not make it. I give a final shiver of contempt at my uselessness and halt.

Will I ever make it off the side of the road again?

I have to believe so. Something, somewhere, will reinvigorate me. I will be topped up with the fuel of life itself and continue on my journey – to the market where I can buy enough ice cream to keep me comforted for any number of crises of faith. I will make it, eventually, because my purpose is to do so, and without this purpose I do not know who I am.

But, for now, I simply feel that I need a rest on the side of the road. Time to refuel.

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3 responses to “Running on Empty

  1. Definitely time to take time out for yourself. Pamper yourself, eat nice treats, read a ‘comfort read’ book (you know the type – they’re familiar enough that you can get lost in them comfortably without having to think too much) and generally let your brain rest.

    Your muse needs chocolate! 🙂

    • That is pretty much what I’ve been doing – bought a new book on Saturday and am already almost finished!
      Will definitely look into purchasing some chocolate for my muse – any excuse to pig out!
      (Don’t tell anyone but I did eat two chocolate eclairs yesterday that really bucked up my ailing spirit!)
      Hope your writing endeavours are going well – got any abbatoir ideas for the script yet!?

      • Have some ideas but haven’t even written plans or notes yet. Must get self in gear.

        Maybe I need chocolate too!

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