It’s no surprise that the thing I’m struggling with of late is the edits on my most recent novel. Still. I’ve been working on them for a year, and while there was a point in 2020 I put the novel on submission, due to the lack of response I decided to take another look at it.
Well, that opened up a whole can of worms! With the step back I realised that one of my main character’s stories was weak, and to strengthen it would cause a set of domino effects that would impact the whole novel. So back to the drawing board – or at least the blackboard of the Plotting Shed! I removed two characters, and brought a background one further to the forefront. I spent ages trying to reconcile this with the story, only to realise that I did need at least one of the characters I’d taken out, so back in she went!
But I am bored of this story now. I’ve spent almost three years with these characters and I know them inside out. Their reactions to things I throw at them feel lack-lustre because of this, and I’m at that point where I doubt the book is even a good read as I’ve been stuck in it for so long now I just want to escape!
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It feels like I’m going round in circles, on a merry-go-round of edits that will never end. I’m disappointed that this story isn’t what I originally imagined, and I’m constantly questioning if I should just throw my hands up and confine it to the depths of my hard-drive and just start all over again with another one.
But, most of these things aren’t true all of the time. I am making progress. It’s slow, but that’s mainly because I’ve been resisting them for so long. The story is a good one; whenever I speak about it with friends they always show an interest, and they agree the premise is a good hook. I’m just over-familiar with it and that’s why I’m sick of it!
Also, I know enough by now to acknowledge that when I do feel this resistance it’s time to take a step back and really feel the discomfort, and ask myself why it’s there. What am I lacking in my approach to this novel? What is it no longer giving me? Why am I struggling – specifically, what is it that is preventing me from moving forward?
And by asking myself these questions, and holding space for the answers, I’ve realised that the thing that I’m missing is the aspect of writing that I enjoy the most; the initial creation.
I love first drafts. I am happiest when I am creating an experimenting with characters and story lines and generally getting lost in the concepts of possibility. Of course, this is why editing always feels so hard. Because I have to close off the possibilities and deal with actualities of the story. In short, I’m not having fun with my WIP because I can’t use my imagination as much.
Once I acknowledged this I started to look for opportunities where I could insert this element of the writing process back into the novel. Imagining the details rather than the broad stokes of the plot, really digging down into the motivations of my characters and identifying subtler ways to demonstrate this in their actions.
I also set aside time to write short stories again. Something I gave up to concentrate on novel writing. But last week, when I sat down with the germ of an idea and got lost for a couple of hours drafting this 2,000 word idea, I was so happy! I felt energised and revitalised. It reminded me why I started my novel in the first place, and the unchecked excitement of how amazing a book it could be; if only I honour it and finish it to the standard it deserves.
So, yes. Editing is still hard. But not impossible. It’s simply part of the process, and providing I can dip into creation mode with other things, I can focus on the novel with renewed vigour. I’ve found as writers, we come up against so many potential blocks, but they are all different depending on who we are and how we approach writing. By taking the time to acknowledge them – rather than avoid them – it’s much easier to identify and navigate around them in our own way instead of pushing up against them forever. We just have to listen to them first.
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